When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
