I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
