I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
