At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize