so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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