Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
