I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
