Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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