The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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