The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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