Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
