I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
