I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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