I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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