Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
