I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Be still, my beating vagina.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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