also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
