I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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