Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize