So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize