So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His hands were made for my vagina.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
