so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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