party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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