ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
