Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
