Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
