i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize