Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
as a side note pls kill me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
