Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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