YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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