it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
