why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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