I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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