i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
