We won't sleep together?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
