Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
