The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
