But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
