Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
