her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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