Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was born a porn star she said
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If I die, sorry about rent.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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