Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
