Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
