"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
