Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
