Have you finally orgasmed yet?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
