I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Randomize
