my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You pole danced in your parka.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize