We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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