the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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