just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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