she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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