oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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