He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize