Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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