so that wasnt chicken after all
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
