Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
