Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
