that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I need to calm my uterus...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
