How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
