If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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